Written by Robert Scucci | Printed 20 seconds in the past
The worst factor I realized as a toddler was that Santa Claus wasn’t actual, a revelation that made me by no means need to belief my dad and mom, who had been additionally the tooth fairy, ever once more. The one worst half is working into Willie T. Salk, performed by Billy Bob Thornton. He is a closely inebriated mall Santa who additionally occurs to be a con artist and safe-cracking knowledgeable, until he will get caught in the midst of an incapacitated vendor in 2003’s Dangerous Santa. I have not seen this film since I used to be 15 years previous, and whereas my infantile humorousness acquired the higher of me many occasions again then, Dangerous Santa has held up a lot better than I ever imagined, so I am comfortable to say I have not outgrown it one bit.
Or possibly my 15-year-old humorousness was extra refined than I assumed, and watching this film as an grownup would possibly assist, within the unlikely occasion that it will get a full R score and I am now a part of its target market. The reality might be someplace in between. Dangerous Santa is the form of film your dad and mom don’t desire you to see, however you already know you will watch nonetheless. All of the whereas, you hear them rustling within the different room, unaware that you’ve got already captured the viewing once they’re not house.
Billy Bob Thornton’s Finest Hours
Everyone knows Billy Bob Thornton is an award-winning huge identify actor recognized for his considerate and dramatic performances, however tasked with enjoying probably the most vulgar model of himself in a raunchy, big-money vacation film, he provides it his all as Willie T. Salk, a strolling catastrophe disguised as a jolly mall Santa who takes on the job of cracking the mall’s secure on the finish of the season solely to vanish with the loot.
Working together with his longtime confederate Marcus Skidmore (Tony Cox), Willie vows to retire and dwell legally. Marcus is aware of that Willie has a scarcity of self-control between seasons and an inclination towards violence, so he expects him to return the next 12 months for one more job, and that is precisely what occurs.
After a sequence of drunken incidents in Florida, issues worsen, Willie and Marcus reunite in Phoenix for an additional lengthy con. They’re launched to Bob Chipeska (John Ritter), a down-to-earth mall supervisor who desires to spend the vacation season wanting fairly, however issues rapidly take a flip for the more severe when Willy will get a bit of uncomfortable in a division retailer becoming room with a bunch of feminine suitors. The mall’s head of safety, Gin Slegel (Bernie Mac), is surprisingly detached to Willy’s actions, however continues to watch him from behind the scenes all through the movie.
Thurman Merman seems
Sarcastically spending his holidays biking, Willy finally meets Thurman Merman (Brett Kelly), an chubby boy who’s socially awkward and a frequent goal of bullies. When Willie learns that Thurman’s dad and mom are away and he lives alone in a mansion together with his aged grandmother, Willie decides to maneuver out on his personal. Thurman is as healthful as any naive preteen who nonetheless believes in Santa, and is the right foil for Willy, who at this level is not even certain if he has a coronary heart.
As their friendship grows, Willy inadvertently turns into the boy’s mentor, educating him worthwhile classes about defending himself and recognizing his value. Thurman all the time returns the favor by providing to make him a sandwich. It is because I feel that’s the job of a great host.
In between panty-wetting incidents and drunken rants on the mall, Willy develops a romantic relationship with Sue (Lauren Graham), whose Santa fetish blinds him to his awfulness. Sue and Willie start beating up ugly individuals to fulfill their primary wants, however finally find yourself performing as de facto dad and mom for Thurman, who has nobody to have fun the vacations with. In the meantime, issues escalate on the mall, and Jin’s behind-the-scenes work places him in the midst of Willy and Marcus’ heist and tries to get in on the motion.
Vulgar with a coronary heart of gold
Though Willy’s actions in Dangerous Santa had been horrible, he isn’t fully heartless. Positive, he has heroic qualities, however they are not neat or healthful. That is a multitude. He’s attempting to give up the thief’s way of life, however the vicious cycle continues, and though he desires to grow to be authorized, he finds that he doesn’t have the power to take action in his present state. The naive Thurman is surprisingly sharp in his criticisms when he tries to talk up. His unwavering kindness helps Willy flip a brand new leaf, even when he would not understand it but.
It is a film about Santa Claus yelling at a mall safety guard about his shitty stick, however when you ignore the vulgarity and take a look at the gist of the story, Dangerous Santa is surprisingly healthful. I do not say this as a condemnation of vulgarity, however to reward it. It is a troublesome line to stroll, however Dangerous Santa manages it so effortlessly that it looks like a family-friendly Christmas film. Simply do not present it to your youngsters till they’re older. In the event you repeat this dialog in school, you will undoubtedly get a name from the principal.
Dangerous Santa is now streaming on Max. Its sequel, Dangerous Santa 2, can be on the platform, but it surely’s a a lot weaker movie, save for the Billy Bob Thornton scenes. In the event you’re anticipating the sequel to ship on the identical stage, you will not miss a lot when you skip it.
